“The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.” – Thoreau
To bring that quotation up to date I would add women into the mix as well. But do we need to?
Our thoughts determine who we are, and I will show an example here. There is a saying in Texas that I hear a lot and it’s “Can’t win for losing.” This saying is usually picked up from a parent or someone we looked up to earlier in life.
Now, what do you think a person who holds that saying inside them is going to do about life’s opportunities and challenges that appear? They are for the most part give up easily or not even bother to meet them. Why, because they have internalized that saying and it has become part of who they are. So why bother.
Here’s the thing, that saying is not something that is came about by that persons life’s experiences, it was picked up and accepted into the mind without scrutiny, without asking if it is true even. I can tell you in life sometimes there may have been times that felt that way but that is only a fraction of the time so it is not true for all the time or all situations.
But a person who has that saying internalized feels like a failure all the time when it is not true. A person who has that saying internalized has set themselves up for failure.
By the way, there is a brilliant saying about failure in NLP and it’s: “There is no failure, only feedback.”
So what’s the answer?
Well, we can internalize better sayings, like the NLP one above, look for inspiration in words and internalize those.
Ask yourself in a trying situation: “What’s good about this situation?” The initial response is probably going to be “nothing.” But keep asking and the answers will come. Ask yourself if the situation is going to have an outcome you will feel better about. If it does not, are you wasting your time doing it in the first place, we only have limited time in our everyday lives.
If you find that you have these negative sayings in your head, then take them to thought court, ask if that saying is actually true, right now, in the past, in all situations. Ask if that saying was ever yours to begin with or is it something you picked up along the way. If it does not fit any longer then replace it with something much better for you.
Use the Q-liminals, they will replace the poor programming in your brain with something that actually works and gets you right back on the path to success. There are many strategies for improvement, pick one and run with it for a while, see if it fits.